They always return is a saying that we have all heard. Why is it the case? It might have been a man you only texted a little bit or a guy you went out with a few times. He left you in the dark. Even a man you may have thought had the potential to be your true love.
In the end, you decided to permanently banish him from your thoughts or perhaps your heart, but now he’s returned.
What you should do and say to determine if he is truly the one, and what you should do to permanently remove him from your thoughts and emotions, if he is not, are listed below.
1. Recognize the reason he is stuck in your head, take back control, and resist the urge to initiate contact or reach out when you feel lonely or nostalgic.
It’s crucial to first realize that, even if you once felt complete about it, most unrequited love experiences or even men who have ghosted us, feel like incompletes. Therefore, for the majority of us, if the relationship didn’t finish the way you had hoped, you might have felt it was faulty. This kind of “I’m defective” or “It’s my fault” thinking holds your heart hostage and solidifies him as your ideal spouse in your head. This is wrong! Put an end to your quest for assurance. Trying to feel in control is a futile technique, especially now when you probably feel out of control in a lot of areas of your life.
2. If HE really does come back into your life, pass Him by the #DATINGWITHDIGNITY LITMUS TEST.
Is this man dedicated to his own personal growth and development as well as the development of your relationship? Invite him to a Zoom or Facetime date (not just a texting date) and speak with him to find out if you both feel the same way. Ask him whether he feels the same way about you right now by being open and honest about how you feel. Find out if you currently share the same relationship goals by sharing. This is a critical component of The Litmus Test. The effectiveness and compatibility of a relationship can be assessed using a litmus test. It is a technique for assessing a relationship using a few important factors or traits. In addition to having the same current relationship objectives, you must also ask in a direct and unambiguous manner. Finally, does he constantly act in a way that shows his commitment to both the development of the relationship and his own personal growth?
3. KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Please avoid overanalyzing the matter because this Litmus Test is almost infallible. If he refuses to even start the talk, ignores it, sabotages it, he will likely use the “when then” strategy. (For example, after the Pandemic is over, when the economy is more stable, or when I don’t have my kids, we can discuss), he’s not the one. He is not the one if you have to keep reassuring him about how wonderful your relationship is while he continues to voice his reservations and doubts. If he passes The Litmus Test, start dating him (and keep dating others) to make sure you keep your mind and heart open to the best match for you rather than the one who feels the easiest.