What kind of life do you desire for yourself?


When was the last time you took a moment to reflect on your life and ask yourself if the course it is now on is one you would like it to take? Occasionally, the velocity of daily life might catch us up and carry us downstream. We become so wrapped up in the daily grind that we fail to notice that the current has possibly pulled us in the other direction from where we intended.

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We frequently have lofty goals for ourselves as kids and young people. Then, probably as a result of adult life requiring more responsibilities than we foresee in our youth, we fail to achieve the objectives we set for ourselves in our youth. Or perhaps our desire to be a ballerina or a train driver fades with time. Alternatively, it’s possible that as we float with the river, we develop a mathematical interest that we didn’t know we had, or we fall in love, have a child, or some other life event that alters our view on what we want for ourselves.

All of this is to suggest that, as long as you are content, it doesn’t matter what kind of life you lead or how different it is from the one you had in mind for yourself. However, if you feel in your heart that where you are right now is not where you want to be, then take this as a hint that you would really benefit from some change.

What are your plans for your one wild and beautiful life, in the words of Mary Oliver?

We frequently forget that we don’t need to make significant changes in order to experience greater excitement, contentment, or fulfillment in our lives. While the majority of us are unable to drop everything and travel the world to save our burning wanderlust, move our families to a different city on a whim, or quit our jobs entirely, we can still make small changes that will have a positive impact.

Here are three things that may help you get the kind of life you want for yourself if you sense in your heart that you need to make a modest adjustment in course.

1. Get clear on what you want

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You must first comprehend what is causing your disharmony in order to make an effective change. Take pen and paper, sit down, and truly be clear on what is at the core of whatever it is that is making you unhappy. For instance, if your work doesn’t inspire you and your workweek is unmotivating, attempt to figure out why. For instance, which is it—the work itself or the workplace culture?

It may seem utterly impossible to live the life you want if it feels so far apart from where you are right now. As a result of feeling unable to affect any change, you could have feelings of being stuck and even resentment. This feeling of helplessness can be caused by a variety of factors, including lack of control over our circumstances, a lack of resources, or feeling like our voices are not being heard. One way to start making a change is to focus on what we can control. Decide how you can move in modest, incremental steps to reach your goals after you are clear on what it is that you specifically want to change. For example, if we are stuck in a job we don’t like, we can start looking for new opportunities or developing new skills that will make us more marketable.  Since it’s improbable that you’ll be able to stop everything and start over from scratch, small changes are much more feasible than huge changes, and since it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to do either, they’ll feel much more doable.

2. Quieten comparison

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Comparison is the thief of joy, as the proverb goes. If you become bogged down in comparing your life to those around you, you will simply lose sight of what it is that you really desire for yourself. in the process perhaps causing yourself to be miserable. Consider the possibility that you are evaluating your entire life—the good, the poor, and the ugly—by comparing it to the highlights of someone else’s life.

Attempt to put an end to any concerns about what other people might think of you. Nothing prevents you from making a radical shift in direction at any point in your life. You can only let age be a barrier if you let it. Instead of focusing on your age, consider how many years you still have left to live and what you want to do with them. For another ten to twenty years of comparative joy, one, two, or three brief years of misery might be a little price to pay.

3. Consider your perception

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Consider whether your viewpoint might be getting in the way of your happiness as well. It’s vital to be aware of the ways that our perceptions can affect our choices and to consider if they are accurate and consistent with our genuine values and objectives. You see these cars all of a sudden everywhere when you want a specific brand and model of a certain colour of car. But they don’t just appear to be multiplying overnight. They’ve been there ever since. It’s only that your brain’s reticular activating system, which is responsible for making you aware of things, is now set up to do so.

The majority of people concentrate on the black dot if they are asked to write about anything they saw on a piece of white paper with a small black dot in the centre of the page. And that’s what we do with our lives—we concentrate on the struggles and the setbacks, even if they’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Instead, begin to concentrate on the opportunities, possibilities, and joys found in the blank spaces on the page. As you do this, you’ll notice a shift in how you perceive everything.